Never Forget to Put You First Hunty!
It’s been awhile since I’ve posted but today I knew I had to make time to share something that came to realization yesterday. My life is a crazy busy mess so who knows the next time I will be able to post, but today… I had to! As an adult you take on so many roles like daughter/son, wife/husband, girlfriend/boyfriend, sister/brother, professional, mother/father, student, friend, and the list goes on. I myself have multiple roles that I feel I’ve been slacking on….more some than others. I literally burst into tears yesterday because I was so swamped with school work that I couldn’t go to brunch with my husband and his friends nor have dinner with my parents. I felt like a failure. Like I have been failing everyone because there isn’t enough time or me to go around. But of course, Mama Guevara came to the rescue! I will seek advice from my mama til I’m old and gray yall lol. She reminded me that I can’t be there for everyone and I can’t please all no matter how hard I try. I come first. I matter the most. This is something I knew, but completely forgot about! I was so busy trying to fit everything in that my own goals and purpose got lost in the chaos.
The biggest role I have at the moment is being a doctoral student. It is something I have wanted and something that I am so close to completing. And it’s not that I don’t care about my other roles, but I have so much pressure and demand from being a student, that whatever I have left I have to expend on my being ok…physically and mentally. Those who care and understand that you can’t fulfill your role at the moment will understand, support, and just be there. Those who don’t…well to be honest…you didn’t need them to be in your life in the first place. So I share this as a reminder to put you first. That you can’t be everybody’s everybody. That what you need to focus your energy on the most needs you of sound mind, heart, and body and that other roles can wait or take the little you can give. In other words, the world can wait. Make sure that you are putting yourself first and foremost whatever that looks like for you. Do not stretch yourself thin and if you find you have, regroup, take some time to get back to you, and push the rest aside. You’re no use to yourself if you burnout. It also reminded me what I tell myself and friends over and over. This is temporary. I will not be a doctoral student forever and the time will come that I graduate and get a huge chunk of my life back. Some roles are forever and some are temporary. Regardless, get to the finish line however best you can. Take this moment to really ask yourself, am I putting me first? If not, get on it hunty…we need you to be just as awesome and kick ass as you’ve always been. Until next time, much love.