Don’t You Quit
I turned in the last assignment for the semester this past Sunday. I did it. Lord baby Jesus I did it (insert crying emoji). I survived my first semester of my Doctoral program. To say it was challenging is the understatement of the year. Funny enough, I came across this picture after submitting the assignment and my brain began firing off again. I’ve had multiple chapters in my life including experiencing every emotion known to man. Sometimes all in the same day. But the truth is…my chapters have built the woman I am today. I am thankful for all that I’ve experienced because I wouldn’t be who I am and I wouldn’t be here telling you about the chapters I’ve written and have yet to complete.
It took me awhile to realize that even when what I was facing seemed too much to handle or imposible to face, in reality…the chapter was not over. In fact….the lesson was just beginning. A lot of the times, lessons appeared to be a conundrum, hard to understand, and even punishing. And other times…you just don’t understand the why. How I’ve choosen to look at it however, is that it’s preparing and strengthening me for something greater. Call me Ms. Positivity Pants if you want, but my experiences have taught me that once the lesson is through, it’s taught you something, molded you for what the next chapter holds, and that the lesson does not last forever. That’s the most important part….whatever you are experiencing…IT WILL NOT LAST FOREVER. Just hold on, don’t give up, and be as gentle to yourself as possible.
During this semester I questioned myself multiple times on whether or not I was cut out for the program. I felt inadequate and at times, pretty stupid and overwhelmed. I questioned my abilities and confidence. But I knew it was something I wanted and needed. Since graduating with my Master’s in 2010, I knew I wanted my doctorate. I realized that these emotions came up because I was being challenged in ways I had never been challenged before. After all…it is a Doctorate program…what the frick did I expect? But I stuck it out, did the best that I could with my research, papers, class discussions, and assignments, while making sure I kept my personal life as healthy and happy as possible. When I submitted that last assignment….you couldn’t tell me nothing!!! I felt victorious, enlightened, and fired up to continue my work in the program and my goals with my career.
I reinforced my own learnings from before…stick to the fight when your hardest hit…it’s when things seem worse that you must not quit. So I didn’t quit. I gave it my all, changed my mindset, stayed inspired, and came out on top. I was even presented with a once in a lifetime opportunity which, I’ll be blogging about at the end of May (wink wink). So if your reading this right now and in the midst of a struggle…just remember…it won’t last forever. The end of that chapter will come to a close and you’ll be starting a new one soon after. Do not quit. I’ll be cheering for you on the sidelines.